Dear Lord, I Feel Like a Whale!
Chapter 4. What If...?
My "hot tip" for pregnancy has got to be that it is worth having at least one outfit that you feel really good in. At least then you'll avoid the misery of being the only one at the party wearing the same outfit that you weeded the garden in the day before. I'm no slim chick at the best of times, so by 20 weeks pregnant I already had plenty of worries about what I would look like in a few more months' time. As if visions of looking like a waterlogged slug weren't bad enough, take a peek at the rest of my worries...
Pregnancy worries
- My whole life is going to change. It feels as if things are spinning out of control!
- My emotions are all over the place; what's going on?
- Am I "bonding" with the baby?
- Am I still attractive?
- I feel really sick if I don't eat korma. It's driving me crazy.
- What if something goes wrong?
Since I wrote this list, I have chatted with many women in the throes of pregnancy and discovered that we often share the same worries. Hence, this chapter is dedicated to taking a look at them. For what it's worth, I'm no psychology expert or eminent theologian on the subject of worries. Actually, I'm a class-one worrier myself, and I'm even worse under the influence of pregnancy hormones. However, I'm starting to walk in the faithfulness of God, and I'm clutching the Father's hand at each step of this pregnancy. If a panic situation does occur during your pregnancy, having a few encouragements under your belt might just come in handy. A top pregnancy worry, "sense of control", can take a beating from the early weeks of pregnancy, so let's look at that first.
Sense of control
Lots of us gain a fair amount of focus and a sense of purpose from our jobs. Many of us get satisfaction from a hobby, or from seeing friends. We know who our friends are, and how we fit in to our social circle. Sometimes though, finding out that you are pregnant can have the effect of completely pulling the rug from under your feet in a number of ways. I remember worrying that I wouldn't be "one of the girls" any more. Maybe the thought of maternity leave has made you wonder how indespensible you really are at work. Pregnancy sickness is very common, and some of us feel so rough we can hardly move, let alone enjoy meeting friends or indulging in a game of tennis. Any of these situations, coupled with a generous dose of pregnancy hormones, can leave any woman sobbing into her fortified milk wondering why it feels as if her life is spinning out of control. Where's my life going?
The excellent thing about this question, at any time of your life, is that it makes you lay your cards on the table. While all this change can be more than a little bit scary, at least it provides a chance to downshift form the rat race and reassess where your focus and purpose is really coming from.
Last summer I spoke to Viv, who took great pride in her job in accountancy. When she found out that she was pregnant she was absolutely thrilled, if not a little surprised. The baby wasn't planned, but was very much wanted. However, Viv couldn't get away from the fact that her life seemed to have changed beyond recognition overnight. For the first time, she felt like a real fish out of water. So she went shopping and bought a copy of every parenting book she could find. At her local Christian bookshop she subscribed to numerous parenting magazines, then bought up half of a baby shop on her way home. However, in her rush to increase her own confidence, she overlooked the only true resource of God himself.
Often it isn't until we realise how shallow are the things that we rely on, that we remember God. The world shouts at us to get self-esteem by being pleased with who we are. Actually, real self-confidence is being pleased with who God says we are.