Disappointed with Jesus?

Introduction

I was at a conference when a colleague of mine brought someone to speak to me. This particular someone was a young lady who had been struggling with everything she was facing. She had grown up in a Christian home, with parents who were involved in public ministry. Her dad was well respected in the local community as a church paster and everyone in the village knew exactly who her parents were, and, by association, who she was. She was always known as someone's child, as opposed to an individual in her own right. The other difficulty was that someone would always be more than happy to mention to her parents any wrong thing that she was seen doing. Locally she was anything other than anonymous. It all grew too much for her.

As a result, she found it very difficult to have any sort of faith for herself. She's been in such a Christian goldfish bowl throughout her formative years that she'd never really needed to think about being a Christian for herself. Everyone else had lived it for her, and now that she had left home she simply couldn't stand on her own two spiritual feet. She had been hurt; she felt inadequate; and as a consequence of what had gone on around her she was browned off with church - though she claimed to be disappointed with Jesus.

I found this story devastating, as it highlighted many of the difficulties young people face when they grow up in a Christian home. They are expected to behave extra well. The faith they feel they should defend may be their parents', not their own. The problems are just accentuated if the parents are pivotal figures in the local (or in my case national) Christian landscape. This young woman's story showed me quite how fine is the line between young people developing their own faith, and rejecting it. She told me her brother had embraced the faith with open arms, having grown up under exactly the same conditions.

This whole incident triggered off a number of thoughts in my mind. Why do Christian young people struggle so much with growing up into faith? How come this girl was finding it all too hard? Why do we create such a pressure cooker for our young people that the drop-out rate becomes so high? How come other faith groups seem to hold on to their people more effectively? Why do so many leave the church? Where have all my peers gone? What are the reasons for the situation? Please can I have some answers Lord? I was incredibly confused and wanted some clarity in my own mind.

As a young person, I myself attended what seemed at the time to be a flourishing church youth group. It was affiliated to a very charismatic church and seemed to be cutting-edge, in Christian terms at least. If one youth group in the area was going to produce many young Christians, then it was the one I attended. They had their own youth-orientated buildings, played the right songs, and incorporated decks into the worship well before most churches had even heard of them.

This was a specific youth church, and if young people couldn't find faith and fulfilment in Christ , then where could they find it? Yet the test of time has proved that the many youth-orientated elements there were not sufficient to stem the tide. Of the ten to fifteen friends with whom I shared the experience of growing up in a Christian context, only one is really going on with the Lord today. What a truly appalling statistic! I've always wanted to do something to prevent the same fate befalling others, yet have never quite known how I could help.

Back at the conference I began chatting to those I was with. I was going to have to make some kind of response. It was one conversation too many, coming as it did on the back of so many similar discussions. I had finally had enough of young people from Christian homes leaving the church, and knew that the Lord wanted me to respond.

The next day, during the final meeting, I felt the Lord speaking very clearly to me. I was stunned by what I heard. I should write a book about some of my personal struggles and those of the individuals around me. No way, I thought. I had finished a Bible college degree some 18 months earlier and had decided halfway through my dissertation never again to write anything longer than a postcard.

Yet the wrestling didn't last too long. Much as I felt a lack of ecstasy at the prospect, I knew I had to try. I couldn't sit back and hear more stories of doom and gloom while knowing that I could make a difference.

I'm not claiming to have all - or even nearly all - the answers. I just have a deep sense that explaining things from my point of view may be helpful. Parents often complain that their children are not speaking to them, so I'm trying to offer the parent a way in to the mind of the adolescent. Obviously the issues will be different for other young people, yet I believe that an awful lot of the principles will be the same. I hope to break down some of the walls. I also hope to show people that they are not facing these struggles alone. It can often feel as if no one understands, so I want to show that others have been there too.

The specific aim of this book is to help more adolescents make it in their faith. I long for a generation to rise up, in the steps of so many great Christians who were converted as teenagers, and really shape this world for an eternity. Many Christian heroes were converted as teenagers, such as Charles Spurgeon (aged 15), George Whitefield (16), William Booth (15), C T Studd (16), James Hudson Taylor (15), D L Moody (18), Amy Carmichael (15) and Billy Graham (17), and then changed their surroundings for Jesus. It happen again!

Many of today's adolescents could turn out to be such world-changers. According to the Christian Research Association, 75% of Christians were converted before the age of 20. This means that we have to act fast and reach as many young people as possible. If we can reach these young people, then they in turn can reach their peers. We must make far greater efforts with those of this age.

If we can keep adolescents interested and active in their faith and in the church throughout their teenage years, then the chances are that they will remain for a lifetime - with 70 years of Christian service ahead of them. However, if they leave they may not come back to the church until they're middle-aged, if ever. I long for these young folk to remain in church and become effective Christians.

So please join me on a journey through adolescence. Let's keep our young people in church; let's turn around all the negative statistics quoted at us, and let's see this planet changed for the sake of the King!

Gavin Calver
Halesowen
January 2004